Friday, September 5, 2014

Terrible Twos:

Terrible Twos is a complete understatement...
Well, in our house that is.

The crying
The whining
The screaming
The not listening
The "mine"
The "no"
The full blown tantrums galore...


I knew this time in our family's lives and especially Charli's life would be difficult due to all of the  changes taking place, but never would I have thought I would be dealing with this...

Let me first start by saying that Charli absolutely loves and adores her little brother. She is constantly wanting to "pet him, kiss him, hug him, rock him, and hold him". It really melts my heart to see how much love even one little girl has towards him and I pray that she will always feel that way towards her brother. However, since coming home from the hospital Charli developed a resentment towards me... She wouldn't kiss me for 2 days, she would roll her eyes at me every time I nursed Crew, and wouldn't even say goodnight to me. 

My heart felt completely broken...

I thought I was doing everything right; having her sit next to me while I nursed, explaining to her that she too once drank momma's milk, and that she was our baby too. 
Nothing seemed to work or click with her. 
Thankfully it only lasted a few days (and having my mom here was a life savor). Something ended up clicking because she has since forgiven me and will cuddle, snuggle, and kiss me again (thank you Lord!) But this seemed to be just the start of what was to come...
Insert Terrible Twos is a complete understatement...

Charli has not only been testing her own limits but she has truly been testing ours as parents.
There are days that I truly feel like I am failing at being a mother and I can't tell you how many tears I have shed over it. I feel like I am doing everything right, but then why is she acting out like  this? It has to be my fault.
Then I remind myself that she is only two and her life as she has known it has completely changed...
She is no longer the only child.
She no longer gets full undivided attention from Mommy and Daddy.
Her weekly routine is completely different because she has started School.
She has also already caught her first little cold from being in School.
Mommy is still healing and recovering which means Mommy can't pick up Charli, or run and play with Charli.
She is still cutting her 2 year molars (and thank the Lord that her bottom left one has finally cut through... only 3 more to go).
And she has been fighting her naps on the daily

So I get it, there is a lot going on in her little life that is causing frustration, irritability, anger, and confusion, and she doesn't know how to communicate that to us.
But I don't know what to do. 

I feel that we have tried everything and we are still constantly fighting with her. It truly truly breaks our hearts to see her so angry and upset and to hear her actually say "I'm really really sad" or "I'm really really upset". I can't tell you how many tears I have lost over all of this. We try talking with her like she is an adult: explaining everything to her while she sits and listens but I know she doesn't "get it" or "understand fully" what we are talking about, We've tried disciplining when we feel it is 100% necessary, we have tried ignoring her completely while in the middle of a tantrum, but in the end it comes down to us yelling at her and her and I sitting there in tears. 
The last thing we want is for her to think that Mommy and Daddy don't love her and that we are always yelling at her now that there is a baby in the house. 

Don't get me wrong, this is not how she acts every single day, or all day long. She has been great at school and is really loving it. But even after a fun day a meltdown will occur at dinner, or bath, or bed, or just because she has to be in her car seat while driving... and in those minutes of a full blown tantrum, it feels like hours; the screaming, the crying, the whining.
It is truly exhausting. 


In the midst of all of this we try to remind ourselves...
"When children are the hardest to love, it means they need loving the most" - Danny Tanner




And that also...
This too shall pass! 

Right?!

It's been a Happy Friday so far... Here's to praying for a Happy Weekend since daddy has to work! 





3 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear this.. Praying that it passes quickly. Stay strong mama.

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  2. What a terrible no good phase! And I know girls are sooo very different from boys. Hang in there, Mama. Keep doing your best and it will be enough.

    Also, one of my favorite parenting books is Love and Logic for early childhood. Lots of great ideas for keeping your cool while disciplining... in theory. Haha

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  3. Lady, I could write this same exact post (actually I started a post VERY similar to this to be posted later this week!). Ugh the 2's, they suck. I'm jealous of people who say the 2's weren't that bad because both of my kids have put me through the wringer while they were 2. But, having gone through this once before, it does get better. It doesn't help when you're in the trenches with it but I remember when Brady was 2 and Layla was a newborn and it was HARD! So hard! And there were days I couldn't stand to be around Brady because it was that bad. But now that he's 4 (and even when he was 3) he's a joy to be around and a completely different kid. It will get better and even though my kids are completely different, I know that this too shall pass. Just keep the wine stocked up and before you know it, it'll be over. I just keep telling myself that even though most days Layla makes me want to pull my hair out! I'm right there with you and can completely relate! I'm always here to talk and swap crazy 2 year old stories! Hugs! :)

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