I feel I do a very good job coping with all of my issues, and making sure that what I am going through does not somehow interrupt any plans, make anyone feel sorry for me, or put a damper in any one's day (including mine)... But today is one of those days that all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry (even though I know doing just that won't even help my pain or what I am feeling).
I have finally established my new GI Doctor here in Charleston...
And yes, this is the street that my Doctor's office is on! haha! (Clearly they do not know how to spell Charli...) ;)
Steven and I really like my new Doctor, and the nurses, and really feel he is ready to kick this disease into high gear and get me into Remission... and fast! After my very first visit, he has put me on more medications for me to take on a daily basis (I am up to 12 pills a day right now, including my shots every week... which is not bad at all! I have been on WAY more, so I am good with this!). The other good thing is Charli is officially and completely weaned so we do not have to worry about what medications I can or cannot take because of nursing (so that is a huge relief).
But there is just one problem... I am feeling worse... I have been on all of my new medicines for a week now (which I have been on these medicines before in the past, just not while on my Humira), and I am feeling worse, and am having some of the worst flare ups I have had in a while... This my friends, is where I am trying to cope... It has been a very rough day for me today, and don't get me wrong, I still have good days, but I am still having
bad horrible days and they are becoming more and more frequent (which is the exact opposite of what should be happening).
I have all the faith in the world in my Doctors, and I am so lucky to have such an amazing husband who takes care of me day in and day out, but I hate that Charli has to see her Mommy like this... She walked up to me this morning as I was bent over in pain and crying, and she said "Mama?" and wrapped her tiny little hands and arms around my legs and gave me the biggest hug and kiss (melt my freaking heart) ;)... And I SO wish I could say that my pain disappeared at that point, but it didn't... It definitely made what I was going through a little better though... So I am coping... I am hanging in there, and I know God has a plan and purpose for all of this, and I thank him every day that it is me dealing with this disease, and not anyone else in my family and especially not Charli!
So now I am just praying for a better afternoon! That's all I can do! :)