Coping with Crohn's: An Internal Infection:

I don't like the focus to be directed towards my health because there is so much more to me than that, but it seems I have hit a rough patch recently and a lot of things are going on. I am thankful I am able to come to this space of mine and write down everything that is going on, my feelings, all while keeping people informed at the same time. This is a coping mechanism for me, to finally be able to talk openly about my Disease and what is going on. I feel if my story can help someone else out there reading it than I have done something right. This disease is truly awful, and at times I sit and pray "why me", nobody understands exactly what I am going through, how I feel, the toll it takes on me mentally & physically. But then I remember how strong I am, everything I have already been through at the age of 31, and then I understand "why me"... So here goes... 

As most know I was admitted to the hospital last week. We all know I suffer with immense stomach pain, but I knew something was different... My sweet two year old found me lying on the bathroom floor curled up in a ball, crying... I asked him to go find mommy's phone...
{with everything I go through, there are times I feel so awful that our children have to see me like this ALL the time}... I was rushed to the Emergency Room very early in the morning, and the tests began... blood work, CT Scans, Ultrasounds, etc. I know my body and daily pain very well and I knew something was not right. Sure enough the Doctors found that my Gallbladder was distended {completely enlarged} and severely infected. 

We knew I was already starting to develop Gallbladder Disease, as people with Crohn's Disease are often diagnosed with Gallbladder Disease at some point. I had met with a couple of different surgeons last year, who said they would not operate on me due to how high risk I am and complications that could happen with me. I feel a lot of this led me to this past weekend. 

Due to the infection that was found, they can not operate until my Gallbladder is at a "normal state". With that being said, they performed a mini surgery at Mayo Clinic where they did a Cholecystostomy {inserted a drain tube inside to drain the infection out}. I will have this for 5 weeks until surgery time. 

It has been a rough 6 days as I am now dealing with the pain from the tube. It hurts to breathe, walk, sit, lay down, sleep, you name it. I am managing through the pain as I do not want this to define who I am these next 5 weeks. I still want to live my life {obviously taking it very careful and being cautious} but I don't want this ruining other things we have had planned. The only way I can describe it as is "it just plain sucks"... All of my clothes fit weird, I can't wear certain things, my entire stomach has developed some sort of weird rash, I can't lift anything, I can't do normal daily activities, I can't stand for too long as gravity pulls at the tube and it just hurts, plain & simple. 

I have had a lot of people calling and texting checking in on me and I hope this answers so many questions. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, this is just another hurdle we have to get through.